Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
