What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
