youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
