Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
