we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
