She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
