went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize