you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize