go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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