So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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