Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
