never play flip cup with pint glasses
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
