If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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