awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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