It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
