i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
