Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
