I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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