But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
