i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Boobs speak an international language.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
