Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
