I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
