we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I love you.
Bad choice
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
