If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
