So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
