Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
