so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
