i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
