Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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