guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The air was thick with penises
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize