yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize