Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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