Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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