im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Don't EVER smell your tampon
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
