quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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