it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
sarcasm needs its own font
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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