i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
