i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
