I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
