I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
