I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
