So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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