I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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