i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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