I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize