She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
