Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
