So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
