He is an equal opportunity slut.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
