Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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