Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
