Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
