hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We were destined to go to rehab together
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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