did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
