Heybabeimwearingurpanties
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
