After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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