Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
